37 & a whinge binge

Or a whine fest, whichever you'd prefer. Neither, probably.

It's been a tough week. We've started organizing a few things for Bee, yes, I've cooked several meals for the freezer, hooray, but Paul's been sick with a cough, gunky nose, and a slight fever (?), too, which leads me to my biggest complaint ... uncomfortable! It's pretty hard to handle everything and everyone with this big ol' Bee.

The poor kid's having trouble breathing and getting to sleep because of his nose and cough - understandable, yes, I know - but lying on the floor propping myself up with an arm for 20? 30? 50 minutes is ridiculous. 37 wks is too big to lie on the floor for so long. So, when Paul wakes up in the night and can only get back to sleep more elevated in our bed, I toss and turn for 2 hours, before finally resigning myself to the floor. There've been too many nights this week to count where I've either been up until 1 or 2 or awake since 3 or 4; one day was both. I need more sleep.

Two particular things make it just a bit more annoying and hard to handle: Lucy and my One-Line-a-Day journal. Lucy because she'll shove open the door while trying to get Paul to sleep, which, at naptime, lets in the sunshine and he sits up or, at bedtime, distracts him with a meow and he sits up. The journal is bugging me by getting into my head space; I can see that two years ago, I stopped teaching to relax for the last couple of weeks before Pea came - and I relaxed! Several times I noted "Got to sleep in today!" or "Watched a movie with D and turned in early". Yeah, like either of those things can happen now. All of this stresses me out, which freaks me out a little that the baby will come before Feb 4th - or sooner! - and I'm not ready. If it happened today, I wouldn't be excited, I'd feel inconvenienced. That ain't right. And I don't know how to fix it.

Bee is really low, which is good, but also a little achey, and we think we can figure out which parts we're touching now - back, bum, knees, etc. Pretty neat! I apologize for all the complaining; I guess that's part of it, too. "It" being the crazy changes pregnancy brings with it. I hope there's more - better - stuff to report next time around! I know I'll have seen the doc again (later today, actually, so I may update later on) and had a girls day with COLLEEN who's coming up tomorrow =). Then next week is Paul's 2nd birthday ... wow!!

UPDATE: We went to the doctor this afternoon. Turns out I was wrong about the body-part-identifying ... Bee is for breech. And bummer. We're going in Tuesday for an external cephalic version, where the doc will try to manually rotate Bee from the outside. There are two chances for that (he'll try once in each direction), and after that, they leave Bee breech. If that's the case, we'll decide whether we should do a vaginal breech birth or c-section. Until then, Dylan will be talking & singing to Bee down low, and I'll be giving Bee as much space as possible on my hands and knees.